Running Etiquette

A Nod to Road Etiquette

However indecorous it may be, there are times we must, as outdoor runners, acknowledge the less finer points of running in the great outdoors.  Chiefly among these I feel its crucial to discuss the proper preparation and execution of the road runner’s snot rocket.  Having been both on the recieving and delivery ends of said projectile mucosal discharges, I maintain the steadfast opinion that it warrants discussion for the safe and comfortable participation of all parties involved.

Tissues are obviously out of the question.  I’ve never been moved to carry Kleenex with me on runs, and I highly doubt the efficacy of such a strategy.  Are we honestly suggesting I jog around for miles with gooey snot rags in my spandex pockets?  Come now.  No good could come from that, especially considering the likely possibility that i’d forget such toiletries and send them through a wash cycle only to wind up with a pocket full of crud, never to be used again.

Besides the aforementioned unpleasantness of mid-run nose-blowing, I can’t imagine how I wouldn’t put myself at major risk for coordination-related running injuries while attempting such a feat.  And who has time to stop running just to blow your nose? Nobody, that’s who.  Especially when we have such an effective alternative in the snot rocket.  Practical as it may be however, it is  an art to be understood carefully before adoption.

Novice snot rocketeers for example, may be prone to fire one off on a crowded race day. Unquestionably, this is improper snot rocket etiquette. I’ve prepared a quick methodology for consideration.  In mixed company, snot rockets are to be only discreetly launched and should follow the proper evaluative criteria.  Please observe this crude infographic for the proper protocol:

Following a few courteous launch rules can mean unsuspecting racers remain stranger-snot free, and chilly, nasally-obstructed runners can breathe easier without fear of embarrassment or general social censure.

Everybody wins!

Happy winter running 🙂