I suspect that most people might begin thinking about triathlons before doing them. I also imagine reasonable people might even consider training for these events before they happen. I am not one of these people.
In fact, I can credit the only preparation I have so far been successful in to my sister/ tri benefactress for gifting me new goggles and bike gloves for Christmas. Also, I got in the pool once (possibly twice).
My excuses are many. I’m too tired from marathon training! I whine. But single-tracking is HARD and etc.
The biggest and most unnerving excuse though, is sleep. I seem to have forgotten how this nightly event works. Made even more disconcerting by the fact that, historically, I have been an absolute champ at this. I could have competed in Olympic napping so gifted I was at falling asleep before head contacts pillow. Flash forward to present, and nights are filled with fixating on critical topics like:
- Is your deodorant giving you cancer?
- Did you send that email?
- Is the plural of platypus, platypi? (Yes, the answer is yes. Platypuses is also correct.)
- Should you consolidate your student loans?
- You should be working.
It takes an absurd amount of effort to divert these thoughts from my internal monologue. And usually if I manage to, legs will start twitching or aching, or joints will remind me they are uncomfortable, as if physical symptoms grab the baton from mental agitations in an “awake all night for no good reason” relay. (Potentially saddest, most soul-bruising relay ever.)
By this time, it’s past 2 am, and I’m wide eyed and punch drunk on managing, on average, a few hours a night going on a week. I begin to discover unpleasant and uncomfortable things about myself, like just how cruel I can be without enough rest. The answer is pretty dang cruel. Or how waking up feeling hung over beyond words each day is starting to get VERY, very old.
Peeling lid from bloodshot eye-ball and pouring coffee down my throat, I vow each day I will try another method promised to deliver me to an actual night of sleep. With few herbal or pharmaceutical stones unturned in the quest, I have managed to saw off a few more logs each night. Things are slowly starting to improve with a new sleep routine, and I’m convinced that once this sleep thing is managed, I will start training.